Number 1
"Mr Cook, even God couldn't convince you to change your mind."
"Ms Bonner, if I ever met God I would take her word for it."
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"Legalizing prostitution would reduce crimes like rap and murder."
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(a student was drawing a picture of me instead of taking notes)
Me: if you draw that again and make me look skinny, I will forget this ever happened.
Him: I'm not that good of an artist.
Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OH SHIT. That was funny. Don't say anything like that to another teacher. I hope you said that to me because you thought I could take a joke. If you didn't, enjoy your free pass.
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