Accidentally Awesome

When stating my thoughts, I am the most arrogant man in the world.
When stating the truth, I am the most cowardly.
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It isn't fun to be awesome on purpose, no matter what.   When it is totally clear what you are trying to do, when it is totally clear how you are supposed to do it, there is no joy in getting it right.   There is only relief from avoiding failure.

The strange part is this: as far as I can tell, being great by accident only happens when a person spends a lifetime trying to be great on purpose.

I spent years and years trying to train myself to have better instincts about people.

Failure shouldn't be a surprise.  Failure is not a shame.   Failure is a door.   Have the guts to knock.  Have the guts to break it down.  (I'm giving a pep talk to myself in this paragraph.)

Today I had a fantastic conversation.   I have no idea why it worked, but I think I might have made someone's day a whole lot better.

People don't come naturally to me.  In fact, it is just the opposite.

When I realized that, I decided to practice conversing with people.  Soon after, I decided that I was far worse than I thought.

The question is this: Why was it a great conversation?

1. Because I wasn't trying to have one
2. Because of the context
3. Or because of the years I tried and stunk at it.

If I made that person feel better, I don't give a shit if I ever understand why.