The Filler List for Aaron Kerley

1. Bird in the the Bush-  reading aloud isn't perfect, we see what we expect to see
2. Derren Brown BMX bike- people who are good with words are dangerous
3. Derren Brown- Pickpocket explanation, what makes a good cause and effect topic
4. Invisible Gorilla, Mentalist Awareness Tests, det5
5. Ambiguous laundry passage
6. OK GO- This too shall pass, an example of a chain of events cause and effect essay
7. Old Lady/Fly-  This is a nursery rhyme that is also a classic chain of events
8. repost when you find a mistake
9. Dear John- 2 letters with the same words and difference punctuation
10. A list of conflicting proverbs.... ask students to rate them on a scale of one to ten without seeing them

Songs I Wrote or Am Writing

SONGS I WROTE OR AM WRITING

Hollywood
Little Truth
Friend of Mine
Tuesday
I Love You But You Suck
It Takes Two- the mashup
Can I take a picture
Oh No
It Aint Right
Empty Handed
Imaginary Love
When I Dream
Fresh Prince of Bell Air cover
You Bring Me Down
I Love You, But You Suck
Funny Thing About
The riff of finger rolls
Holly
Life is Strange
Who's That Knocking (It Aint Right)
Oh Osama
Dear John, This is my Revenge
Baby You Know It's True- The President Song
Jesus Made Me Drop the Football

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday

when you're poor and there's nowhere to go and there's noone that you know that you can talk to
life is hard
it's really hard

when you're poor and bill collectors are knocking at your door making demands
life is hard
it's really hard

It's gonna be till tuesday
till I get paid
I just stare out my window
still it was a pretty good day

when you're poor and you're all alone and there's nothing in your head
but worries
life is hard
it's pretty hard


sometimes I feel so good inside
I don't know why I feel so good
sometimes I feel so good inside
I don't know why I feel so good

and I wanna let you in but I can't.

VERSE
C riff C riff
F riff stop     F riff stop
C riff C riff
F riff stop    F riff stop.

BRIDGE
Am riff   F
C riff     G


-----------------------------------------------
I Love You But You Suck
It Takes Two- the mashup
Can I take a picture- Dear John
Oh No
It Aint Right
Empty Handed
Imaginary Love
When I Dream
Fresh Prince of Bell Air cover
-----------------------------------------------
Tuesday

when you're poor and there's nowhere to go and there's noone that you know that you can talk to
life is hard
it's really hard

when you're poor and bill collectors are knocking at your door making demands
life is hard
it's really hard

It's gonna be till tuesday
till I get paid
I just stare out my window
still it was a pretty good day

when you're poor and you're all alone and there's nothing in your head
but worries
life is hard
it's pretty hard


sometimes I feel so good inside
I don't know why I feel so good
sometimes I feel so good inside
I don't know why I feel so good

and I wanna let you in but I can't.

VERSE
C riff C riff
F riff stop     F riff stop
C riff C riff
F riff stop    F riff stop.

BRIDGE
Am riff   F
C riff     G
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Funny Thing About


A   E   B   E

well I used to be
walking backwards
well i used to be
wasting my time

well I used to be
someone who could tell a good story
well i used to be
a good friend of mine

I had a girl,
who really loved me
I had a girl
who treated me kind

She was gentle
and tender
and lovely

The trouble was she was
out of her mind

She thought that life had been scripted by Disney
kept looking for angels
watching the skies

She liked to talk about where we would be when we were 80
now I'm 23
ain't this a surprise

Funny thing about love that some people tend to forget
funny thing about love is
someday you come to the end of it

E E  E E  E E E E E E E C#m   B



I went to this graveyard
looking for ghosts
I never found one
but I came pretty close

I stumbled onto this tombstone
I almost fled
I stumbled onto this tombstone
and this is what it read
it read

funny thing about life that some people tend to forget
funny thing about life is
someday you come


Im a musician
play all the time
when I pick up a guitar
all thoughts leave my mind

If i do it right
the people scream and shout
if I play real good
they have something to talk about

funny thing about a song that
some people tend to forget
funny thing aobut a song is
someday you come
to the end of it
-------------------------------------------------------------------

I wish you well

a guy lights up a cigarette
and somebody says
"you shouldn't"
it'll shorten your life seven minutes a smoke
its no good man
that's no joke


have you heard about the stuff they add
chemicals nitrates
aluminum sulfate
save the money for your fix
put it in a jar it will add up quick
the first man takes a look at him and he laughs,
he says
fuck you buddy I didn't ask.

d a eminor
But I wish you well
on your slow road to hell
and you know you never can tell
you never can

Guy pulls into McDonalds
girlfriend is in the car
he pulls up to the speakerphone
just in time to hear to hear his girlfriend groan

I cant believe you like that stuff
don't you know what it's made of

heart disease
clogged arteries
super sized fries at mickey ds

special sauce sure tastes nice
on low grade beef at low low price
boy you better take care of yourself
or I'm gonna find someone else

the boy says sorry you feel that way
get out of my car
have a nice day


8 pm on a tuesday night
man in a three piece suit
is hard at work on his oak topped desk
waiting for the day that he gets to rest

he wonders if his capital gains
will still make money if the interest rates change
he knows a lot about marginal cost
but he'll never know what he lost

a janitor in the same place
works a 12 hour shift with a smile on his face
-----------------------------------------------------

The riff of finger rolls





----------------------------------------------------------------

Holly
G   walk    Bm     Am     Dm

I've been trying to get to you
for so long
for so long
and it went so wrong

Well I keep moving on
I keep moving on
I keep moving on

Well now you're here
you're so close
so close

and what happens next
everyone will know
everyone will know

B section
Am   Am/G   Am/F#  x3
Em   C    D


C section 
Arpeggios

And I know
I know
I'm one of the lucky ones

When you're here
it's clear
I'm one of the lucky ones

When you go,
I'll know
I'm one of the lucky ones

I'm one of the lucky ones


G  D/F#    Em   C



------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Laura Song

Well I'm not the kind of guy
who'd fit in well in fairy tales
I'm unambitious unromantic young white male
I like sports on the radio
I like them on tv
I think the designated hitter is a tragedy

I've got hair on my knuckles
my forehead's low and sloped
I think Lady Luck met Mr Right
And both of them eloped
They took a trip to Mexico
With Santa and his elves
And left us here to fend for ourselves

Then you came
into my life
like a dark room
surprised by light
I had everything figured
now I've gotta think twice
I never knew that being wrong

could feel this nice

Write me a love song
sing me a refrain
tell me I'm perfect
swear you'll never change

I can't do that
But this I'll do
Every night when I start to dream
I'll dream of you

I remember that morning
I was nervous and distracted
I got dizzy from your gravity
and quickly reacted.......


-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friend of Mine

You said never go to a supermarket hungry
Never go to a shopping mall
with a pocket full of money

You said honesty gets ugly
so lets not make it ugly

I was a bull locked in a store
full of quiet
pretty things I could not afford

You gave me a look that said
you break it
you buy it

And maybe I did
And maybe I did
I shouldn't have done those things I did

You were so amused
that I was so confused
and I'm still confused

You said that you easily bruise
so I'd better never lie to you

And maybe I did
maybe I did
I shouldn't have done those things I did

But if you see my name
somewhere down the line

I hope you'll say
He was a friend of mine

G  Am   C   D

Bm   C
Bm  C
CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

C walk down




(Attempts at more lyrics)
We wandered the streets
trying to get lost
experience ain't cheap
but it seemed a reasonable cost

verse 5 should start with I said

I said
try to leave your front door open
never teach unless you're asked
you said
if you fall and nothings broken
don't forget to laugh

------------------------------------------------------


Empty Handed

C#m   F#

Across a table
over silverware
we converse like a tennis match
I've got an untucked shirt
and a baseball cap
I'm wearing ripped jeans
which I patched

You talk about investments
dividends and real estate
you're ex boyfriend works on the exchange
you won't buy anything
that isn't new and improved
or at least repainted and renamed

Instrumental for a bit

You say that you
want a man
who's handsome and rich
one who knows about the dinner fork
and the salad fork
Never forgets which is which

PRE CHORUS:
E           B
I think you should know
Just one thing before I go
you should know

CHORUS:   C#m   F#    B   E   A 
You wont ever
Understand
I'm not ever gonna be
your kind of man
so you're gonna have to go home
empty handed


Verse 2:
You talk for hours on the telephone
sometimes you dream about wild horses
you munch on salad
and I sip upon a beer
Then we change courses

I don't mention my occupation
it's pretty clear you work in sales
then a waiter comes and interrupts the conversation
and you say it never fails

STOPS SECTION
I'm not normal
Imagine that
And I suspect I know what normal thinks of me
I'm not normal.   Imagine that.
But you could never be exceptional like me     (THIS IS AN AWFUL LYRIC.  IT ALIENATES.)

But I think you should know
just one thing before I go
you should know

You wont ever
understand
I aint ever gonna be your kind of man
but you're gonna have to go home
empty handed

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And you awake surprised to find the world
had stopped spinning in its customary way
suddently it seems
that in this dream
you've been playing a villain
sad to say

the crossswalk
seems like a crossfire
and you're facing a firing line
of disappointed faces
a list of past disgraces

you're biting your nails
you're biting your tongue
you're coming unglued
you're coming undone

CHORUS
you believed
that you could do as you pleased
and you expected
to bring the world to its knees
you were wrong
and how
you were wrong
but you can laugh about it now



-------------------------------------------

HOLLYWOOD

There I go again
staring above me
looking for falling stars
holy ghosts and lost puppies

walking the city
completely unguarded
I used to have an invisible friend
but he departed

I'd like to give up my wallet
my name and my face
at night this city
is such a dark place
I'm looking at street signs
looking for glory
looking for a charming way
to tell this story

They say look but dont stare
they say stare but don't touch
I'm not inclined to care
but I don't expect much




(AFTER THE FIRST OR SECOND VERSE)

Every good program has at least one character
that doesn't give a fuck about what people say
somebody call a casting director and
have him send a couple leading ladies my way

hey hey hey
what can I say
I'm feeling pretty hollywood
inexplicably pretty good
today




california sun
in a smog grey sky
i like my steak barely done
and my martinis dru
I woke up in a strange place
next to a strange woman
with a strange face
and it wasn't you
what's a boy to do?


You have to wear shades when you're staring at the stars
and you can go and see them hanging out in the graveyards
the young and the strange are drinking champagne
waiting for the telephone to ring
they had to give up everything
they have to give up everything

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Life is Strange

I've got a head full of songs
and a heart full of stars
ive got this busy schedule
Ive got these empty arms

Ive got big dreams
and you aint in em
I've got moves
and I've got rhythm

I've got a ticket on a southbound train
life is grand
and life is strange










----------------------------------------------------------------------
Who's that knocking

define terms:
riff 1: aminor7, d7, aminor7
riff 2:  c7   d7   c7   d7

it aint right
to treat me like you do   (repeated)
I aint right to treat me like you do
but you do

it ain't right
that this keep going on
It aint right
that this keeps going on
It aint right
but I like being wrong

New section:
I ain't trying to sleep
you can stay if you wanna
I ain't trying to sleep
you can play if you wanna
I ain't trying to sleep
you can stay if you wanna
I ain't trying to sleep but I'm really gonna

---------------------------------



FRAGMENTS

Turn the radio up
I want it loud
I've got something that could
gather a crowd



-------------------------------------------------------

I saw what I think
and I drink what I like
and I plan to do both on this Friday night

-------------------------------------------------------------

when I took a look at you I knew you really wanted to dance

---------------------------------------------------------------

OLD TIME RELIGION

My coffee's tasting weak all've a sudden
the sun is sinking down
the lights are going out by the dozen
people gather round

i must have gotten into some trouble
my head is pounding once again
seems like a good time to tell you a story
about the shape I'm in

cause she's gone
she's gone
she's gone
and I've got to keep moving

Long time ago
in a foreign land
there lived a crazy man
he said he ways the father's son
but was he the only one?

here's the crazy thing
he told the rich to sell their things
and give the money to the poor
that is what they killed him for

now i don't know
if what they say is true
but i know
what I'm gonna do
that's why I'm telling you that

change is gonna come
and lord im going to get me some
change is gonna come
and lord i'm going to get me some

of that
old time religion
old time religion
old time religion
old time religion

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stay
new verse

Never thought I’d see your face again

I was walking Main Street with my friends

Telling old old stories

But now you’re hear standing before me

If I say
all the things that you want me to say
would you stay
would you stay a little while

If i play
all the things that you want me to play
in the right way
would you stay
would you stay a little while

this aint gonna be one of those songs about the pretty things that you resemble
its dull, to talk about the sun and the sky/ when you're nearby

it's been a long time, but now it seems
that time is inconsequential
its clear
dear
now that your here
I'm feeling so suspenseful


------------------------------------------------------------

i once knew a man name of Corey from Campbell
He drank and he cheated he lied and he cursed
I'm not trying to say that this man was a devil
I'm trying to say he was worse

Chorus

Corey was born on the East side of town
in a Catholic orphanage which he burned down
he stole from the sisters
he stole from the father
saying his prayers?
he didn't bother

Chorus

Corey was a dummy and Corey was clumsy
And Corey was known to be famously cheap
If you had a farm he would help you pick apples
Don't leave him alone with your sheep.

Chorus


Bridge
Corey was stupid and yes he was mean
Corey had herpes like I"ve never seen
Corey robbed everyone close to his home
"If you've got a hostage, you're never alone."    (Another person pipes in with this one.)


----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Friend of Mine

G   Am  C  D

You said never go to a supermarket hungry
never go to a shopping mall 
with a pocket full of money

You said honesty gets ugly
so lets not make it ugly

I was a bull locked in a store
full of quiet
pretty things I could not afford
you gave me a look that said
you break it you buy it

And maybe I did
And maybe I did
I shouldn't have done those things I did

and you were so amused
and i was so confused
and I'm still confused

you say that you're easily bruised
so i'd never ever lie to you

and maybe i did
maybe i did
I shouldn't have done those things I did

you said
never sleep with your door open
never speak unless you're asked 

you said 
if you fall and nothings broken
don't forget to laugh

maybe i did
maybe i did
maybe i did
shouoldn't have  done those things i did .

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

C   F  C F repeat

WHEN YOU KNEW ME
YOU SAW RIGHT THROUGH ME
WHICH OFTEN LED TO FIGHTS

MY MIND WAS MADE UP
MY CARDS WERE LAID UP
I WALKED INTO THE NIGHT

G    F     C   x4
IT TAKES ABOUT FOUR MONTHS FOR A KID TO CHEW
IT TAKES ABOUT 12 MORE FOR THEM TO WALK
IT TOOK ME QUITE A WHILE TO APPRECIATE YOU
I"M 40 NOW, AND I JUST LEARNED TO TALK


F   G  Am x3
Am   Am/G  Am/F#    Am/ E    F    G     
Am

BUT IF I HAVE A DRINK
YOU WONT GET THIRSTY
IF I FIND SOME SHADE
YOU WONT GET BURNED
THE ME YOU KNEW BEFORE
WAS A WORSE ME
BUT
AS IVE LIVED IVE LEARNED


ITS ALL JUST HABIT
THERE YOU HAVE IT
BUT HABITS CAN CHANGE

IM SURE YOU DOUBT ME
SO COME CHECK OUT ME
NOT EVEN STONES CAN STAY THE SAME

IT TAKES ABOUT FOUR MONTHS FOR A KID TO CHEW
IT TAKES ABOUT 12 MORE FOR THEM TO WALK
IT TOOK ME QUITE A WILE TO APPRECIATE YOU
IM FORTY NOW, AND I JUST LEARNED TO TALK

IF I HAVE A DRINK
YOU WONT GET THIRSTY
IF I FIND SOME SHADE
YOU WONT GET BURNED
THE ME YOU KNEW BEFORE
WAS THE WORSE ME
BUT
AS IVE LIVED IVE LEARNED

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WHAT WENT DOWN JUST CAME UP

It was a Semptember morn
forty years since i was born
i took a break from watching porn
and went outside
to ride some rides

it was me and two friends
when it began
we made a plan and then
we started fast
and didn't last

i dont mean to be a boaster
we road seven coasters
in a not so long  amount of time  (pause)
before we reached the scene of the crime

(instrumental?  or first time?)

the weather was sunny
it didn't cost me and my friends any money
what happened next
was kinda funny
you must admit
when you look at it

there was a pretty girl
next to him when he hurled
a shot heard round the world
of our friends
that's the end

WELL I AINT REVEALING HIS REAL NAME
BUT YOU CAN CALL HIM CHUCK
ANY ONE OF YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME

WHAT WENT DOWN JUST CAME UP


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you don't want my love
you're stuck with it

don't be sad
don't be blue

if you don't want my love
you're stuck with it

I'm stuck with it too.

There is a kind of doubt that is
pessimism
there is a kind of doubt that we should do
the only thing i'm sure about
is i dont know which kind of doubt
it is
when im doubting you

ooooooooooo
welcome to the jungle

ooooooooooo
you're welcome to the jungle

oooooooooooooooooooo
welcome to the jungle

we've got games
----------------------------------------------------

Jesus Made Me

Jesus Made Me Drop the Football
On the Final And Crucial Play
Jesus Made me Drop the Football
Don't believe what my teammates say

Friday night
there's no forgetting
Playoff game
my palms are sweating


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Signs to Hold Up In Class

SIGNS TO HOLD UP IN CLASS

About Audience

Who cares about this?
Who knows about this?
Who needs to know about this?
Who would love to know about this?

About details

Does your paper have
Major Details
Minor Details
Engaging/Interesting Details
Enough evidence to prove the point?

About a thesis
Is it debatable?
Is it specific?
Is it easy to identify?
Does it follow a hook?

About a topic sentence
Is it clear?
Does it relate to the thesis?

Summaries- 8 principles

1. First sentence should include the author, the main idea, and the title,

2. I break a story or text into sections, then I try to give equal coverage to each section,

3. If it has sections, I include the section names,

4. Use transition words between sections,

5. Beware of adjectives and adverbs.  One can usually summarize a text without them

6. Summaries are sometimes Cliff's notes (all major details), but sometimes summaries are for a different purpose (only the details that relate to the purpose.)

7. A useful place to look at summaries is by looking at movie spoilers.   Think of a movie that you know well.   Then google "movie spoilers+ the movie title."    For a large number of famous movies, two types of spoilers will be available: retellings of the entire movie and actual summaries of the movie.   Only spoilers that leave out many of the details of a film are proper summaries.

8. As a rule of thumb, try to keep summaries under 100 words.  A longer summary is usually not necessary.

Thinking in Third Person

Thesis:  We ask students to write in third person because it can help them to think in third person

Epigraph
We think in words, and we think in images, but primarily, we think in person.

Background
Sapir-Whorf
             typical criticisms
             translations disprove the strong version
             the evidence for the initial hypothesis was incorrect
             the training/background of the theorist was unimpressive

             my thoughts
             the difficulty of translation shows that the language restricts the possibility of expressing 
             certain ideas in certain languages
             a person can come up with a true idea through pure insight
             more evidence and experiments are needed

Resources
    English blame study
    Russian blue study
    Economics savings study
   

Maxim- Argument in disguise

A story is an argument in disguise.   Significant evidence shows that it is more effective.

Wired for story.

Most of the time, if I want to change someone's mind, I never say 'maybe this will change your mind.'  When I want to change someone's mind, I say 'let me tell you a story.'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About plagiarism
No idea is an orphan, but none of them can produce a birth certificate

Meaning is Context Dependent- PBR hat

Once when I was 22, I went to Wal Mart and I picked up a hat with the letters PBR on it.   As a beer fan and a poor person, I assumed that this meant "Pabst Blue Ribbon."    Years later, someone walked up to me and began talking about bulls and riders.

It turns out that I bought a "Professional Bull Riding" hat.

Compare Contrast, A Cognitive Tool

What we are doing in this class is more than just writing papers, reading texts, and developing better habits for both.     We are introducing students to a tool.   We are trying to demonstrate a fundamental way human minds work.

Here is where I will try to demonstrate.
Real World Example #1
In arguments about blame, there is a really common dirty trick.   When confronted about a  mistake or about failure, many people will respond with, "oh yeah?  What about the time when you did X?"   This is an attempt to feel better about a mistake.   Noone likes to make mistakes or let people down.  However, instead of saying "I screwed up" people use a comparison to change how they feel about a mistake.

Real World Example #2
Why is it so easy to get fat?   I'll make this personal.  Why was it so easy for me to get fat?  The reason involves compare/contrast.   If I got a little bit fatter every day, I couldn't see it.  I couldn't notice it.  The only time I got a signal about it was when suddenly, old clothes didn't fit.


Real World Example #3
When salesmen are showing customers products, they are taught to show some products first.   Do they show the cheapest items first?   No.  They show the expensive items first.   Why do they do that?  It isn't just because they want to make large commissions.   It is because of the way the mind works.   The contrast between products makes the prices and the quality of the products look differently.

Real World Example #4
Before and after photos for weight loss programs.

Two thought provoking questions
1.  Would a Steelers fan or a Bengals fan enjoy a Superbowl victory more?
2.  When is the best day to give your girlfriend flowers?   Which day would help her appreciate them more?

"Only some differences make a difference."

Examples
Tasting OJ After Toothpaste
Weight- Batting After using a Batting Donut
What does tall mean?
What does expensive mean?

Applications
              Want to convince me x is a problem?  Compare it to something I already hate.

You are Not So Smart- book and podcast notes

You Are Not So Smart Podcast














Some of the key, relevent concepts from the text:
Groupthink-129
Quaker Oats, the first branding experiment
Coke Vs Pepsi Taste Test 88-89
Words and false memories 176 177
Social Norms 186


For instance, look at this sequence of letters and then recite them out loud without looking:  RKFBIIRSCBSUSSR.   Unless you have caught on, this is a really difficult task.   Now chunk those letters into managable portions like this: RK  FBI  IRS  CBS  USSR.   Look away now and try to recite them.   It should be much easier now.   You just took fifteen bits of information and reduced them to five.   -7

Be careful.  People like to be told what they already know.  Remember that.  They get uncomfortable when you tell them new things.   New things. . . well, new things aren't what they expect.  They like to know that, say, a dog will bite a man.   That is what dogs do.    They don't want to know that man bites a dog, because the world is not supposed to happen like that.  In short, what people think they want is news, but what they really crave is olds. . . Not news but olds, telling people that what they think they already know is true.   -Terry Pratchett, from one of his Discworld novels, quoted on 29

An Ohio State study in 2009 showed people spend 36 percent more time reading an essay if that essay aligns with their opinions.  -30

It's simply easier to believe something if you are presented with examples than it is to accept something presented in numbers or abstract facts.   -70


Every story needs a strong protagonist with whom you can identify.  If they are down on their luck or recently fell from grace, you see them as being approachable.   If they are plucky and face great odds, again, you root for them without having to think about it.  Early on, the protagonist will save someone without having to, and you'll start to like him or her.  On the other side, you need a dastardly antagonist who harms someone for no reason, a person who ignores the rules and wants only to satisfy him-or herself no matter the cost.  The hero or heroine leaves his or her normal world and enters into a new life full of adventure.  Just when it seems as though the protagonist will fail, he or she overcomes whatever has been in the way, sometimes even saving the world in the process.   When the hero or heroine returns to home, he or she has been changed for the better.   82-83

  
 Advertisers use genetic freaks with abnormal symmetry, lit by professionals, altered by makeup artists, and finished off with Photoshop until they are nothing more than realistic cartoons--just like a RealDoll.   134

This is why politicians who bring out charts and graphs tend to fail, and those who use anecdotes tend to win.  Stories make sense on an emotional level, so anything that conjures fear, empathy, or pride will trump confusing statistics.  144

Having a dissenting opinion on movies, music, or clothes, or owning clever or obscure possessions, is the way middle-class people fight one another for status.   They can't out-consume one another because they can't afford it, but they can out-taste one another.  155

If you are trying to communicate something complex, if you have vast knowledge of a subject and someone does not, realize it is going to be difficult to get it across the gulf between your brain and theirs.  The explanation process may become thorny, but don't take it out on the other person.  Just because that person can't see inside you mind doesn't mean he or she is not so smart.  You don't suddenly become telepathic when you are angry, anxious or alarmed.  Keep calm and carry on.  -204

The audience matters--- Chinese Food

How many people in this class think they eat Chinese food in China?

They don't.  Our choice of words tricked you.

Also, In China, no one calls it Chinese food.   In China it is called "food."

How weird is it to be a reading teacher?

Oh?  You aren't good at reading?   Please read this book about reading better.

I have a black belt in wabi sabi......

The japanese art of imperfection

Quotes from students

Number 1
"Mr Cook, even God couldn't convince you to change your mind."

"Ms Bonner, if I ever met God I would take her word for it."

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"Legalizing prostitution would reduce crimes like rap and murder."

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(a student was drawing a picture of me instead of taking notes)
Me: if you draw that again and make me look skinny, I will forget this ever happened.
Him:  I'm not that good of an artist.

Me:   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OH SHIT.   That was funny.   Don't say anything like that to another teacher.    I hope you said that to me because you thought I could take a joke.    If you didn't, enjoy your free pass.

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2 fun critical thinking tests- Mine

1.  There is a song called "mo money mo problems," but there isn't a song called "no money mo problems", why do you think that is?

There are multiple answers. 
One answer would be to say "there isn't much market in the word 'duh'."   A song about the problems of the poor would be awfully predicable.
A second answer would be to say "people are jealous of rich people, so the audience would be more interested in hearing about rich people's problems."
A third answer might be "the problems of the poor are sad.  Most people do not want to hear music that makes them sad."

2.  Consider this sentence

"I like Cuban sandwiches and American people."

How does the speaker feel about Cuban people?
Answer:  We don't know.   He doesn't say, but it is very tempting to infer that the speaker doesn't like Cuban people, isn't it?"

A metaphor- Life of Pi

Coming how to a house with a sick child or a sick loved one is a unnerving necessity of having loved ones.   I'm going home to spend three days with an extremely contagious girlfriend.

Now I know how the boy in the boat felt about living with the tiger.

Edumacation

List of episodes that I have
14-44
51-56
58-81

1
Sheldrake- Morphic Resonance

2
carrots dont help your eyes.  its world war two propaganda.  John Cat Eyes Cunningham and his miraculous night vision

3
The McDonalds Shake story
Thickened with some kind of potato product, but it used to be much better for you
They couldn't legally say "milkshake"

The McDonalds Egg White story
According to the name, one would expect a single ingredient.   However it actually had 11 ingredients!

Super Dogs
Whale hunting, ass cancer sniffing

Diagnosing the Fat Albert Gang

Apples are from Afghanistan
They are mostly spitters, bad tasting apple trees.   Grafting is used to improve them
"Mankind has conquered the apple!"
Johnny appleseed was not at the Alamo

4
gross ingredients in cosmetics

5
Superstitions
        Practical origins and ridiculous origins
         Ladders- things could fall and hurt you,
         but also because a ladder was used to get Christ down from   the cross
         all criminals used to be forced to walk under a ladder before hanging

         Bless you after sneezing- a virus killed people very quickly, the pope ordered people to say bless you so peasants didn't die without a final blessing
        
       Unlucky 13?- It comes from Loki and Norse myth.  12 gods were invited but he snuck in

       The crazy fly voice makes a long appearance

6
JFred Muggs
 edumacorrections
are people more paranoid because of more surveillance?
one fifth of all the active cameras are in London (for traffic)
cocaine tooth powder
heroin was a cough remedy, invented by the Bayer company
hair of the dog, an ancient rabies cure
antimony, a hand me down pill that rockets through you

Inventing the British Guys

HOAXES
Rabbit woman
the hundredth monkey effect

Deja Vu
Talking shit about Carl Jung
Dolpihns keep lifelong social memories

7
Barney blockers- Beta blockers are a type of pill to help some to stay calm, McEl's dad was on them but it was incredibly difficult for him to exerciset
ESP vs Microexpressions
Kato and the OJ trial



10
Star wars knowledge.....
meowsic
"Sacres the bejabbers out of me" --- a reference to castrating bulls
Robot and Frank--- Robutt...



11
Robot bees
The southamerican catfish that all penises fear
The squids confusing weapon
Paul Shaffer, its raining fun
The Big bang might not have happened
Gender neutral in Germany
Testicle Size and fatherhood
Wide faces are evil
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12

Misheard lyrics are called "mondegreens"
Songs stuck in your head are called

Sci
        Toxoplasmosis- the fearless mice
        Sneezing into the crook of the arm
        Various other sneezing conditions
Why
        Bermuda Triangle Theories
        Sudden release of methane changes the density of water or air
                    Boats or planes would suddenly drop beneath the sea
         Rogue waves, poor Tom Green's fishing story
         AUTECH theory- a testing area for advanced technology

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24
There are many other funny mineral names.   Vaginaton in particular.
Tyco Brahe had a gold nose and a pet moose who he got drunk

Sci
New part of the human body have been discovered, a ligament and a part of the cornea.
extra set of nostrils way in the back
class up your garbage
women can have ribs removed.  Apparently Cher is rumored to have it done.  Rachel Welsch did do it.

Fi
The Science of Batman
Physical Abilities from Scientific American
Strength and Conditioning (3-5 years), Martial Arts (8years), nonlethal MA (12-15 years)
training must constantly continue.......
cumulative effects of the beatings are wildly unreal....
ability to handle ten opponents--BS
The gadgets are almost all nonsense, but it is conceivable that in the future....

Why
Fart science.....   chicken and eggs have sulfur in them
Around a pint of gas a day is the personal average, 14 times a day
Could holding one in hurt you?   Almost certainly not.
(Changing the names of years once society loses faith in God
Imagine signing our checks "dick trickle")

Bye
3d food printer
The Mars Murder Conspiracy-- Driving a van off the side of a cliff.

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Christmas Podcast (near 18)

1. Christ wasn't born on Christmas
2. The names of the wise men relate to the little drummer boy
3. Christmas was illegal in Boston for many years
4. The first congress deliberately worked on Christmas
5. Washington Irving wrote a book of Christmas stories which created the fervor in America.

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Solos in the Silos 22

snopes quiz 48 minutes in
           RFIDs in students
          
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number 30 swipers existential crisis
Taste can be manipulated.... around 50 minutes in.r  Ham tastes more salty when its cold.  Cold things cannot be tasted as distinctly as warm... cold beer vs warm beer and bitterness.   Drinks in a blue cup were rated as more refreshing than drinks in other colors.    The Blind Wine Taste Test.... One is expensive.  One is cheap.   Surprise they are the same.    We enjoy things more with great adjectives in front of them.   The discussion of savory is a highlight.

ruth's cris steakhouse






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number 34  Garfield for President

The origins of nursery rhymes.   Humpy Dumpty (a cannon).  Mary Mary Quite Contrary (torturing opponents).   Scientists who experimented on themselves: Albert Hoffman, Jonas Salk, the speed guy.

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number 36- Manhattan mongoose

Invasive species, the starlin importation to America (Shakespeare related), the lionfish, the burmese python, the mongoose

Snopes quiz
      Et games really were in a landfill
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number 40
Dogs are both left pawed and right pawed.....
In humans it is 10 percent left handed.... dogs are even.

It is possible to tell if your dog is left or right handed....   the dominant paw is the one the dog will shake with...




number 46
The photographic memory dilemma
          One person had promise in one experiment.   The professor who ran the experiment married her and never had her tested again.
          Some people like Marylu Henner have great autobiographical memory.   They can't apply that to books.
          Noone has been apply to use photographic memory in court.
Jackie Gleason- amazing memory for scripts...



The Fear Strength Issue
          One prof says normals go from 60-72 percent of muscle capacity.
           Trained athletes go from 80-92 percent.   The professor was FSU kinesthesiology
           Under extreme fear/adrenaline people can access 100 percent of the potential....
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Edumacation 52
       metal is in our blood
       metal is in our bones
       "Head Game Hunters"

Grocery store marketing tricks
        type and tempo of music
        tile size variation
        narrow checkout isles to avoid putting away stuff
        large carts---more buying
        people only remember four prices---
                               milk, bread, eggs, bananas
        bread in paper bags vs plastic bags
        most items in the circular are not on sale....   people think they are
        10 for ten sale    89 cent tuna marked at 10 for 10 flew off the shelves

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edu number 53
       Head games hunters
       do bees have emotions?   put a can of bees in a paint agitator
       do hamsters and mice love running on wheels--- the forest wheels experiment
       robotic cockroaches
       the joyless mouse without dopamine
       transportation fears are discussed

       
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54 Guardyloo

That's what people used to say when they were emptying out champerpots in olden times.  




number 55
Smiling in pictures, when did it start and why did it start?
Mind Game Hunters- ideas for a show

Distractify article about timelines- Cleopatra was closer to the Iphone than the pyramids.

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number 56 barbara hershey

regional accents are important because talking in that accent makes it easier to understand the speech in that area.

why do we call only one liquid a gas?

A pill that makes farts smell like chocolate

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58
53 minutes    closing your eyes to improve memory
                     police bonding with witnesses...

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number 59
Cognitive biases/Recovered memories/Facial Feedback Hypothesis/ Invisible Gorilla

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Live at the Ice house 2

     miracle fruit and why sharks are safer that anything.   Vending machines kill 13 people per year.

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ugh Math
              Fake drugs vs Real Drugs "Anafranil"   "Bacta"   The Harvey Rant
              at the moment of death human beings do not lose weight...
              Do ostriches put their heads in the sand out of fear?-   checking eggs

              Deck of Cards have infinite orders
              23 people have a 50 percent change of shared birthday, 75 people have 99 percent.

              Why do people like bubble wrap?

              Kevin's I am no doctor seuss rant.    Fatwa



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Facts from unknown episodes

Fuck was first used in a hater poem from 1537
(which means that anyone who is a fan of dirty talk is also a fan of poetry)
Slang terms for lady parts.   He includes lots of them.  Here is a highlight
            AM- "The parenthesis"
            KS-  "They should have called it the exclamation point."
            AM- "As long as you don't call it the period."

            AM-"The goat milker"
            KS-  (isn't it obvious where he will go with this one)

Blowjob first appeared in print in the 1960s.   The source is that blow was a synonym for "come" for many years.


probably from 59
Bader-Meinhoff Phenomena
Hindsight Bias
Forer Effect-  (horoscope trickery)

There are fourteen people who I would listen to if they challenged me.  Unfortunately, none of them have any idea who I am.   There are at least thirty writers who I will listen to if they challenge me.   The fact that they don't know who I am doesn't matter.   I can talk to them whenever I want.