The first day of school

Respect by Aretha Franklin

What you want-
To tell good stories
To get people to listen
To get people to remember
To prevent embarrassing mistakes

What you need-
Challenging tasks
Independent working/learning/studying habits
Rapid feedback
High standards
A demanding teacher
A knowledge of what your weaknesses are

"Perhaps at this point you are thinking this: 'I know how to talk.  Why do I need to write?'"

The answer isn't a sentence.  The answer is a story, and I'll start my story with a thought provoking question.  A thought-provoking question is a good way to start a story if you didn't know.

The question is
"How long has mankind been using language to communicate?"

Write down a guess.   I'll wait.

(When a question is asked, it is crucial that you try to answer.  If you don't have an answer, make a guess.  If you don't understand the question, write the question down in your notebook.)

The best scientific estimates are around 100,000 years ago. 

Does anyone know when writing was invented?   (Notice that I said "invented")
The oldest writing that mankind has ever found (so far) is around 6,000 years old, and it is a small clay tablet that records how much beer was given to workers after completing some project.   They wanted to make very certain that noone was drinking more that his or her fair share. 

I am not kidding.   Google that.   

Does anyone want to know how we figured out the date for speech?
[The story of Paul Broca, and the unfortunate man who could only say "Tan"]

[After the story, the reveal]

100,000 years ago humans hadn't accomplished a whole lot. 
For the next 95,000 years we didn't improve much.

But, in the last 5,000 years, we have gone from spear fights to space flights.   

What can I do? What I can do? - My thoughts about my abilities

In sixteen weeks, I am expected to change you.   The concept is all wrong.  It is a stupid goal. 

In sixteen weeks, I want you to change yourself.   I am willing to trick you, entertain you, mislead you, and impress you.  I am willing to be hated.  I am willing to be misunderstood.   I am willing to try things that I'm not sure will work.   I am willing to look stupid.  I am willing to act stupid.  I am willing to be stupid, as long as I think it will help. 

Accidentally Awesome

When stating my thoughts, I am the most arrogant man in the world.
When stating the truth, I am the most cowardly.
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It isn't fun to be awesome on purpose, no matter what.   When it is totally clear what you are trying to do, when it is totally clear how you are supposed to do it, there is no joy in getting it right.   There is only relief from avoiding failure.

The strange part is this: as far as I can tell, being great by accident only happens when a person spends a lifetime trying to be great on purpose.

I spent years and years trying to train myself to have better instincts about people.

Failure shouldn't be a surprise.  Failure is not a shame.   Failure is a door.   Have the guts to knock.  Have the guts to break it down.  (I'm giving a pep talk to myself in this paragraph.)

Today I had a fantastic conversation.   I have no idea why it worked, but I think I might have made someone's day a whole lot better.

People don't come naturally to me.  In fact, it is just the opposite.

When I realized that, I decided to practice conversing with people.  Soon after, I decided that I was far worse than I thought.

The question is this: Why was it a great conversation?

1. Because I wasn't trying to have one
2. Because of the context
3. Or because of the years I tried and stunk at it.

If I made that person feel better, I don't give a shit if I ever understand why.

My head is losing it's hair, but my thoughts have a motherfucking jerry curl. 

A Way WIth Words

This podcast is all about words.   It has a focus on explaining the history of weird words and expressions.

Have you ever wondered why people describe giving up drinking as "going on the wagon"?

Relevant Episodes:
10-29-07   Dangerous Books
6-28-08 Paper to Pixels
8-11-08 Language Headlines (there are a number of eps with this title)
1-31-09  Riddled with riddles
6-6-09 Falling off the wagon
6-24-09 Serial Comma Usage
9-5-9 Texting, A Language Expert's Perspective
3-5-10 Write it Right (Ambrose Bierce)
1-22-10 Jack Lynch
4-24-10 Self Selected Reading
7-24-10 A Whole' Nother (Style Guide)
7-7-12 Forensic Linguists
10-27 12 FANBOYS and beginnings
9-17-13 Up Goer Five

Beautiful Mandela Quote

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.

Nelson Mandela

The Best Pages From Cracked and the Onion

Useful for classroom concepts
tricks that movies use to make us root for the hero
http://www.cracked.com/article_19183_6-tricks-movies-use-to-make-sure-you-root-right-guy.html

5 ways you don't realize movies are controlling your mind
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-you-dont-realize-movies-are-controlling-your-brain/

5 tiny wording tricks that can change someone's mind
http://www.cracked.com/article_20563_5-tiny-wording-tricks-that-can-totally-change-someones-mind.html

The concept of source amnesia
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/29/opinion/29iht-edwang.1.14069662.html?_r=2

Six Things You Won't Believe Can Brainwash You on Election Day

5 Everyday Things You Won't Believe Are Copywrited
http://www.cracked.com/article_20066_5-everyday-things-you-wont-believe-are-copyrighted.html

Surviving English
http://www.cracked.com/funny-3519-surviving-english/


6 legal ways the cops  can screw you
http://www.cracked.com/article_18620_6-completely-legal-ways-cops-can-screw-you.html?wa_user1=1&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=article&wa_user4=companion


5 ways to spot a BS Political Story
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-ways-to-spot-b.s.-political-story-in-under-10-seconds/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Weird+World&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=companion

6 things rich people need to stop saying

5 reasons the future will be ruled by BS

6 real world jedi mind tricks salesmen are playing on you   http://www.cracked.com/article_19071_6-real-world-jedi-mind-tricks-salesmen-are-using-you.html

5 cheap magic tricks behind every psychic  http://www.cracked.com/article_18553_5-cheap-magic-tricks-behind-every-psychic.html

5 insane ways words control your mind.

6 brainwashing techniques they are using on you right now
                *just search brainwashing

7 commonly corrected grammar errors (that aren't errors)
http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-commonly-corrected-grammar-errors-that-arent-mistakes_p2/?wa_user1=3&wa_user2=Tech&wa_user3=blog&wa_user4=companion

5 Outrageous Lies Companies Are Legally Allowed to Tell You
 http://www.cracked.com/article_19485_5-outrageous-lies-companies-are-legally-allowed-to-tell-you.html


http://www.cracked.com/article_19367_6-companies-that-rigged-game-and-changed-world.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_20324_5-basic-facts-life-were-made-up-by-marketing-campaigns.html

Funny Things About the English Language
http://www.cracked.com/funny-3000-english/

Five Reasons the English Language Makes No Freaking Sense

6 Laws That Made Sense on Paper http://www.cracked.com/article_20724_5-laws-that-made-sense-paper-and-disasters-in-reality.html



ONION
http://www.theonion.com/articles/secondperson-narrative-enthralling-you,30380/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/my-year-volunteering-as-a-teacher-helped-educate-a,28803/

http://www.theonion.com/articles/professor-deeply-hurt-by-students-evaluation,20130/